39. Breaking News, The Movie Emperor is Scum! (6)

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‘Survival in the Wild’ was on the hot topic list on the first day, with its own chart and subtitles.

It had two pictures, the first one is the Song God team wrapped in blankets, shivering together, while the Song God’s expression was confident, “don’t be afraid, the Movie Emperor’s team must be worse than us!”

In the second picture, Wei Mingyan and Song Qi are also surrounded by blankets. Stormy is snuggling up in his little blanket, relying on them. In the warm fire, the two people in the blankets were eating grilled fish while smiling with a relaxed expression.

There is also a video clip by netizens. First, the Movie Emperor team had a warm meal of grilled fish, background music: Today is a good day.

 (Tnote: Today is a good day [今天是个好日子])

After singing joyfully for a while, the image changed to the Song God team, several people gathered together while shivering.

[snowflakes fluttering, the north wind rustling ~ heaven and earth a boundless ~]          

(Tnote: part of a sad romantic song by Cai Guoqing “A Cut of Plum” [一剪梅])

This strong contrast is almost laughable to the crazy audience. The key is that the two teams are far away from each other. The Song God team insists that the Movie Emperor team is as miserable as them, or even worse.

The next day, the Song team finally emerged from the blanket in a pitiful way, because there was no fire and no tent, so the three had to huddle together and barely spent the night sleeping.

In the morning, the three were in high spirits and were ready to set off on their way to survival. Before they left, the martial arts Brother said, “Brother, you should sing, something in line with our present mood!”

When the audience watched martial arts brother’s confident appearance, they knew that he was expecting something good. At the critical moment, the Song God started.(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

“Holding my head in my hands…”

 (Tnote: lyric from “Worry ah Worry”[愁啊愁])

[pfftt!!!!]

[ha ha ha ha, I’m eating. Do you want me to get skinny?!!]

[Look at martial arts brother’s expression. There’s no love in it!!]

It had to be said that the Song God was very skilled. At the end of this program, he could be very famous.

Looking at the perspective of the Movie Emperor team.(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

They took Stormy everywhere to observe the surrounding environment. Wei Mingyan put out his hand thoughtfully in the air. Three seconds later, he spoke heavily with at the inexplicable expression on Song Qi’s face, “it will rain tonight.”

Song Qi was really confused. “How could you know that?”

How could she not know that Wei Mingyan had a skill in predicting the rain?

Wei Mingyan can see that after the two spent the night in a tent last night, Song Qi’s attitude towards him was much better, and his speech became more and more like that of the past; when the two were in love.

The man was a little pleased with this discovery. He pointed unfathomably at the dew on the nearby tree. “Look, water.”

Pointing to the clear sky again, “it will rain on this island at about 8 o’clock tonight, so we have to get ready early.”

Song Qi looked doubtfully at the dew on the branches, and then at the sky, which looked nothing like it was about to rain. She asked in a skeptical tone, “can you tell if it will rain by looking at dew?”

The audience watching the live broadcast also began their own speculation.

[I heard that experienced fishermen can judge when it rains according to the humidity of the air. Do you think that Yan-ge was judging it when he reached out his hand just now?]

[Yan-ge has this skill? What a versatile person!]

[Don’t be happy too soon, what if he’s wrong?]

As the bullet screen grew in discussion, the man smiled confidently, revealing a handsome smile. “I read the weather forecast before coming here.”

Song Qi: “…”

Audience: “…”(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

Wei Mingyan turned to Song Qi and smiled proudly, “let’s go, let’s move!”

His expression is very complicated, it looks like he wants to look reserved, but his expression is sending out a message: Praise me, praise me!

Song Qi wanted to smile when she saw the man like this. Her facial expression became more and more relaxed. She asked in distress, “then why did you do that?”

“I’ve just finished work on a Buddhist role? This is what he did when he asked for rain.”

With that, Wei Mingyan reached out his hand, twisted the air unfathomably, narrowed his eyes slightly, and said in a calm voice, “don’t panic, Emperor, there will be rain tonight.”

People had to say that the Movie Emperor’s acting skills are really good. Although he is dressed in modern clothes and still carrying a knife in his hand, the temperament of a Buddhist emerged. Song Qi couldn’t help but laugh and slapped him on the shoulder. “Buddhists, you really can act.”

The man turned around and held out his hand to make a standard request, “Dear Emperor, let’s move!”

[Lol… as refines as jade! Why is this so funny?]

[Look at the sister’s weird expression! ha ha ha!]

[I can’t. I can’t keep watching this live. I’ve sprayed my food three times! no no no!](translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

[Did you really not notice the problem in Yan-ge’s words just now? He said ‘I played a Buddhist’. Since when has Yan-ge acted as a Buddhist?]

[The new one, isn’t it? But his tone, it’s like Song Qi little sister should know, maybe two people know each other?]

[They all belong in the same industry, shouldn’t she know?]

Song Qi did know Wei Mingyan’s role as a Buddhist. In order to understand this role, the two had practiced some dialog with each other at home. At that time, the two were still in love, and their nicknames became the Buddhist and the Emperor.

She didn’t expect that they could call each other like this after they had broken up.

The Movie Emperor team confirmed that it would rain in the evening, and started to move. Wei Mingyan was carrying a big bag and holding their stone pot. The fire was not easy to take, so he had to carefully select dry wood to take it.

Song Qi had a small bag on her back and a few bamboo poles in her hand, Stormy happily follows the two owners, holding a small package in his mouth and wagging his tail.(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

The Song God team started hunting. Pheasants were found on this island, but if they were really going to hunt them, they would starve to death. Therefore, the program team randomly placed domestic chickens everywhere. Of course, in such a large place, if you want to eat chickens, you must catch them yourself.

They were catching chickens right now. The Song God is holding a wooden pole he picked up on the road, lurking behind the tree. He is eager to try for the rooster who is pecking at something on the ground.

This is the 10th time that they have failed, if they fail again. The sun will set soon. Facing the tired teammates, the Song God chose to encourage them.

“When we catch this chicken, we will eat it! Mingyan probably doesn’t even have chickens.”

The little girl; Yue Yue, wiped the sweat on her forehead, “but brother, they have a dog.”

The Song God spoke confidently, “What use is having a dog? That dog is not a hound. I have a dog at home. As soon as I saw his dog, I knew the dog was useless. And Qi Qi is just a little girl, she can only cook in the kitchen. But Mingyan likes cleanliness, he even had to wash an apple three times before eating it. Him, catch a chicken? I’m pretty sure that day would never come!”

“Elder brother, I am also a little girl.”(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

Song God: “… Yue Yue, I’ll go from this side; you, from that side, Brother Wu from behind. We’ll catch it together and make red-hot chicken, ok!”

(Tnote: I’m changing “Martial Arts bro to Wuda [武打] = same meaning, just because reading it as martial arts over and over sounds weird. So, he has a name now… and the little girl is really called Yue Yue in the book.)

The little girl clenched the stick in her hand and nodded firmly. “Okay!”

Song God, Wuda-ge, and the little girl Yue Yue; the three formed a triangle and began to outflank a chicken.

Closer, closer, closer …

“Ha!” A sound broke the silence. The rooster was frightened and ran away. Before they could react, a shadow flashed by. The next second, the sound of gurgling could be heard. Then, the three people saw the rooster slowly coming out with its flapping wings.

Stormy’s steps are elegant, his tail is swaying quietly. When passing by the group of three, he didn’t even look at them nor did he squint at them. The dog that came out of the grass was noble and cool.(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

In the eyes of the three that were looking at him in a daze; according to history, this type of old dog is useless and can’t hunt. He lowered his head and placed the half-dead rooster at a man’s feet. He wagged his tail and barked happily at the man, “Woof!”

“Stormy is awesome!” Wei Mingyan is not stingy in praising either. He gently stroked the old dog’s head to praise it. Indeed, his tail wagged even harder. He rubbed the man’s slender hands happily.

“Brother, what a coincidence, did you catch any chickens?”

Wei Mingyan picked up the chicken on the ground and handed it to Song Qi, who came up behind him. Seeing that she had taken it, he greeted the three people while smiling.

“Yeah, we caught a chicken.” Song God as a captain; in the face of ‘provocation’, of course, was the first to speak up.

Never lose! He would never let the opposite Movie team see their predicament!

Looking at the three people who looked haggard after only one night, the man held some bad intentions and asked clearly, “where is the chicken you caught?”(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

Song God pondered, “ah … in that, in …”

Should he say that it’s at the base, or they put it away?

The little girl, seeing the captain’s hesitation, volunteered to answer in a clear voice, “It’s in the hands of Qi Qi-jie.”

[Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I can’t! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, this program is purposely not letting me eat!]

[look at the expression on the Song God. It’s beyond description. Hahaha]

[soundtrack: snowflakes fluttering north wind~]

The Song God had given up in saving face. His eyes quickly glance at the belongings of the two people in front of him. He coughed, “Mingyan, Qi Qi, did you both sleep well last night?”

“Very good, the tent is windproof, baked on a fire, also ate some fish. Brother, did you eat some grilled fish? The fish here tastes really good.”

Song God: “… yeah, I’ve… ate, delicious, fragrant!”(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

“Okay then, brother, I’ll go first. By the way, I’ll give you a free tip. It’s going to rain tonight, so get ready early.”

Looking at the two people with neat clothes and clean faces leaving, Yue Yue looked up at the captain confusedly: “Elder brother, when did we eat fish?”

Wuda-ge also asked, “Do we also need to find a place to shelter from the rain?”

Song God suffered great physical and mental trauma, but still strongly covered his fragile little dream. He looked up at the weather, his small eyes narrowed, and found that things are not that simple.

“The program team has never told the guests about the weather. How can it rain when it is so clear and the sun is shining so bright?”

“But that Mingyan chicken thief knows, he must be deliberately confusing us, and wants us to work in vain, tut-tut, his scheming is unfathomable!”

Wuda-ge scratched his head, “but I think Yan-ge is quite good.”

Yue Yue agrees with a face of distrust, “Elder brother, you also said Stormy is useless before. ”

Unexpectedly, the two members did not believe his own judgment, so the Song God had to stabilize the rear, “believe me! It’s impossible for it to rain tonight. It’s Mingyan’s trick!”

“Trust me for one last time, will you?”

“If it rains tonight! I’ll sing ‘Xiaoman Yao’ live!”

(Tnote: Xiaoman Yao [小蛮腰] lit. Little Pretty Waist = pretty much a song about “doing the deed” with a small waisted woman”, telling people the singer wants it. Not for virgin ears; keeping this post PG, klick at your own risk>> https://youtu.be/8lKi4SrgQLk)


 

Night

The trio sat under the banana leaves listening to the pitter-patter of rain.

Yue Yue was protected by the two men and did not get any rain on her. She looked like she was enjoying the sound of the rain. She looked thoughtfully at the Song God outside. Her white and tender little face was full of curiosity.

“Elder brother, I haven’t heard ‘Xiaoman Yao’, is it nice?”

(translateindo,C0m did not give other s1tes perm1ssion to copy this!)

 

 


 

 

Translator: I’ve been researching these songs the whole night. I hope it gives a better perspective on the jokes. If you guys think it’s too much… comment below, so I won’t go into it too much … thx guys.

now time for bed…

Author: RandomAlex

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    YanYanYan says:

    This was hilarious! I was cracking up as much as the audience. I can’t wait to see his reaction when he gets off the island and sees the memes 😂

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